Foxy Silver Collection -- Goldie

On the very day I received my first Foxy Silver grey wig, I also received some bad news. It seems the last chemo treatment I received, which caused me so much grief — so much so I still do not feel quite myself — may have also traumatized my kidneys. My most recent lab work shows my kids are not happy with me and now my doctor and I will be seeing each other more often. Pooh. Grey wig, gray day and now I’m taking it easy.

Though the news was devastating and I will admit feeling overwhelmed and slightly depressed when I left my doctor’s office, I still feel a glimmer of hope. I will also add my grey wig (shown above) helped me feel better because I felt more at home with it than I’ve felt with any of the other wigs I have.

Now, allow me to explain this one. You see, I was raised by a phenomenal woman who is self-made, self sufficient, and she raised me to believe we as women are beautiful at any age. My mother dyed her hair for a period of time before finally deciding grey is beautiful. I love her beautiful head of grey hair. She and I both went grey early, she in her late 20s and I in my early 30s. Well, let’s say I noticed my first grey hair at 29 and I pulled it.

Over the years, I have noticed many of my older friends would much prefer dying their hair than allow a grey hair to raise an unruly strand anywhere atop their head. Personally, I am of the belief a woman should just go with it because some of the age discrimination out here today comes as a result of our trying to run away from our age or aging. It’s a fact of life, deal with it and be done with it I say.

The worse I have seen — in my humble opinion — is an older sister rocking jet black or blue black hair on a Sunday morning with thick pancake makeup, making her look more ready for a coffin than walking the street on her way to church. From the back she looks great with all of that thin hair flying in the wind but, don’t let her turn around. Oh my God, every wrinkle comes into view as she smiles and that black, black hair just doesn’t do it.

With that, I ain’t no spring chicken and I don’t pretend to be one. I’m not trying to be young, youthful, young at heart, young acting, or anything with youth or young in it. I am a middle-aged woman and darn proud of it. I have earned every grey hair on my near bald head. When my hair begins growing again on this near bald head, you can bet your last bottom dollar I will have some highlighting shampoo for grey hair because I will rock these silver, grey and white strands. Oh yes I will, yes I can and thank you very much.

Foxy Silver Collection -- Jamie

During these six months of chemotherapy, I have looked high and low for grey wigs. Everything, it seems, is geared toward younger women. The wigs for older women are dumpy and look like they were thrown together with the manufacturer saying something on the order of “oh well, here, take this.” No thank you. I have purchased conventional wigs and front laced wigs and unfortunately, trying to find a 34 (a mix of off black with grey) is like pulling hen’s teeth. You can find any color in the world — some of them ab-so-lute-ly strange — but grey is off the table.

Thank God for the Foxy Silver Collection. One day I was so fed up with all of the weird colors I did a Google search for grey wigs and up popped Foxy Silver. There are many online stores that carry these wigs but few have the full collection. Apparently, these shop owners believe older women with grey hair should also have short hair. No shoulder length or full head wigs. No, no, apparently we’re too old for that. No, apparently the belief is we should have short, close cropped grey hair.

Thankfully, after finding Alicia International — the ones responsible for the Foxy Silver Collection — I could see they did not believe what many of their sellers believe. The lengths go from very short to long. Thank you.

I have had friends tell me “oh girl, you’re not that old. Don’t get a grey wig” but I wanted one because I am “that old” — whatever that means. My hair is actually grey. It would not have gone grey if I were not “that old.” Since I am into accepting me in whatever flavor I come — cross your eyes behind that one — I want to be me, not someone else and that is why I love my Foxy Silver grey wig.

About the Collection:

Grey never looked so good™. You know it, and we’ll help you show off that gorgeous grey. An incredible selection of grey wigs, half wigs, and hair pieces in both human hair and synthetic wigs, half wigs and hair pieces for mature women of color. Search no longer, Foxy Silver® is your only source for salt n’ pepper wigs.

The Foxy Silver® Collection includes monofilament wigs, hand stitched wigs, human hair wigs, and synthetic wigs. Available in our unique three-tone grey colors and with over 50 styles, we have your perfect style.

I purchased “Goldie” (shown above). It is made with premium synthetic hair, it is lightweight with a machine-stitched cap. It looks natural, feels secure, and thank God it is light and airy. It has a layered cut that can be styled many ways. Actually, I do not wear it the way it is styled in the above photo.

I have ordered two more, “Barbara”, a medium length wig and “Jamie,” a shoulder length wig. I may order more but for now, that’s it.

If you’re on my side of town, Pasadena Beauty Supply carries a full selection of wigs and they have a whole shelf or aisle of grey wigs. They also carry the Foxy Silver Collection.  Maybe later I’ll swing by and take some photos for you to see what they have.  Though small, it’s a great place and it’s full-o-stuff.

Okay, so it's a little out of focus but this is my head

I know a lot of folks are wondering “why is she showing off her bald head?” Well, I’ll tell you why. First, I’m very proud of my bald head because what I thought was a knobby little head turned out to be a nicely shaped head. In fact, I was so pleased with my bald head I called my mother to tell her how proud I am of my head.  She responded “no forceps were used on that head of yours.” Thank you mom. As a sidenote, she also added that I began screaming as soon as my head entered the world, long before the rest of me popped out. Too funny and I’ll hold that note right up there with my mother telling me “you never crawled, you walked.”

Second, who better to do this than a hard ass like myself. Sure, I used to define myself by my looks and there was a time I thought myself so fascinating, so cute, and I was so full of myself I thought it didn’t stink. Well now, times have surely changed and Lupus, along with the medications I’m taking, have taught me to not define myself by outward appearances. It has been quite a lesson indeed and since I’m not one to shirk lessons, I own them, I am neither afraid of them nor am I intimidated by them.

Of course, at the beginning of this I almost fell into that place of shrinking violet. That did not last long because the more I ran into ignorant idiots, the angrier I got. Not just for myself, for those others who probably lack the voice or the intestinal fortitude to correct said idiots. I have no problem doing it and welcome them.

As I’ve said many times, it has not been uncommon for me to run across someone who will allow a door to slam in my face because they see me as fat. These ignorant idiots have no idea what prednisone will do to a person and they don’t care. I don’t take it personally, I’m not going to spend time cursing them out because they are not worth the energy, I just go about my business. Months later, when the prednisone is decreased and the fat around my face and belly are gone, these same idiots go out of their way to hold a door open for me. They’re idiots capable of human foibles and so what.

I may not have those beautiful high cheekbones I once prized, that sculpted chin, or the eyelashes to die for today. I may have them again one day, I may not. What is most important to me is to build up and maintain my integrity and credibility, focus on the who of me and not give play to how I look. That will destroy me and will add insult to injury as I will spend too much time stressing on how I look and what others think of me while stressing myself out to boot. Even worse, I will effectively make a bad situation worse because of the stress I cause myself by doing this. I will only make myself sicker.  Not worth it.

In my lifetime I have been cursed out for just being me. I wasn’t black enough, talked too proper, and I cannot count the many times I exited a bus to meet up with chronically unemployed men looking for employed women with their “hey baby, whazup?” to subsequently be met with the “B-word” because I responded with “I’m fine, how are you?” Lord knows folks are a fickle bunch. I’ve learned over the years to not pay attention to folks wishing to define me by what they think of me and I certainly don’t need others to validate my existence.

With that, my point is this, don’t allow others to define you and I don’t care how many degrees they have, how smart they or others claim they are and certainly, it matters not their status in life. They cannot define you. You define you. Period, end of statement. Some folks are just plain idiots and there’s nothing you can do about it. Leave them alone, get away from them, have nothing to do with them. They’re idiots, move on.

Another reason why I’m doing and saying this is I’ve heard too many stories of low self esteem brought on by illness. Whether you’re dealing with lupus, cancer, or any other illness, you will get through this. Don’t focus on what people outside are saying or doing. If your friends drop, good riddance. They were not your friends. If people make fun of you, know they are idiots but don’t shrivel up into a corner somewhere hating yourself. You’re a beautiful person, do not allow others to make you ugly.

Typically, what we don’t understand we fear and what we fear we attack. They may not admit their fear but know their fear exists. A lot of people suffer with low self esteem and they will attack others to either make themselves appear big or better or to deflect attention from themselves. See it for what it is and move on. Move in the direction of wisdom. Wisdom is more beautiful than outward appearance. It will carry you through the rest of you life and when the hair grows back, those cheekbones resurface and the weight is lost or gained, you will add wisdom as your most powerful beauty secret.

Now, on to my beautiful bald head. I finally purchased a pair of good shears to whack off the remaining hair on my head. The texture of my hair changed drastically this go round with Cytoxan and unfortunately, the hair was laying down on my head making it hotter than need be, particularly under a wig. Since I’m wearing wigs anyway, I thought it best to cut off all of the hair on my head to create a better seat for the wigs and sure enough, what a big difference. Now my wigs fit better, they’re not sliding around atop my head.

It is important to not only feel good about yourself, looking good is equally important. If someone should “snatch the wig from my head” my earrings are smoking, my makeup looks good and I can carry on without the wig until I get it back or practically kill the person who took it. I have a nice looking head and I would not have known this had it not been for shaving my head. I can survive without the wig and may do just that.

Looking and feeling good helps the healing process as well. Since I’ve been on this mission to overcome some of the harsh experiences I’ve had since being on chemo, I felt a psychological cleansing couldn’t hurt. Buying or selecting clothes that accentuate my particular style helps me feel good in my skin. Hair and makeup helps too. Putting together a whole package, in spite of what I’m going through, helps me think about something else besides “is that nausea I’m feeling?” or “not another day of pain” or “geez, I’m feeling so tired today.”

I may not always get past the malaise I feel every day, but it helps when I can look at myself and say “but you look good.” What I have discovered is when I feel bad and dress according to how I feel, I will typically feel worse by days’ end. When I chose instead to dress it up in spite of feeling bad, I will typically feel better and there have been times when the pain and fatigue dissipate as a result. It’s psychological, I know this, but I also know the brain is a powerful tool that can be used to trick the body. As often as I can I’ll employ this little trick because it works.

I did not want to chance using a razor on my head for fear of scaring and perhaps infection. The photo above shows a once over using the shears. I have since gone back over my head to get a closer cut. Now I can wash my head like I wash my face and I can’t tell you how cool, and I do mean cool, this nice bald head is. Oh, and you know I bought me some singing earrings right? Hoo Hah!!

The parking lot is pretty small but I found a park. The building itself is a nice sized building but the display room for wigs is to the left as you enter the front door. The wig show room was not as big as I expected but my goodness, did they have wall-to-wall wigs. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that many wigs in one place.

Online you will find a number of African-American wigs. In the store, that’s another thing. There were big displays for Revlon, Noriko and others but MotownTress and Beverly Johnson were hit and miss. You really had to look around and find them mixed in with other manufacturers. There were very few lace fronts wigs too, very few, in fact I think I saw two.

Having said all of that, the store if filled with all sorts of wigs in varying styles. If you’re interested in finding something for Halloween, this is the place to go for some very creative, outlandish, interesting and frightening wigs. I saw one that would put Frankenstein’s wife to shame and it came complete with a weird high collar.

If you wish to try a wig on to see how it fits, they have private fitting rooms. I thought that was nice because those going through chemo who have little hair atop their heads can try one on privately without being stared at. One woman who obviously had alopecia did take her wig off at one point to try on another and did she ever get stares. Why? Heck if I know. I don’t know if she noticed this or not but I did see her snatch away into one of the fitting rooms and her husband began bringing her wigs.

The place was pretty crowded as they were doing a good amount of business. Women were in there buying lots-o-lots-o-wigs. There is a clearance section in the back — didn’t see any prices on any of the wigs — and those were going like hot cakes. Don’t you just love clearance racks? I do but I wasn’t there to purchase a wig. Tempted? Yes, but I was trying to stay focused on what I came to purchase. Maybe later.

The Showroom: View from the entrance

I was thrilled to see wigs for children and men. They also have hairpieces for men as well as partials and they sell everything needed to affix them to your head. They have every kind of adhesive, adhesive removers, shampoos and conditioners for wigs — what I came for — name it, they have it but again, it’s not within eye view. You will have to ask one of the three employees there for assistance.

I have read this on the interwebs and many of my friends have told me the same, getting help is difficult at best and you may have to wait longer than what you might expect to get said help. The three salespeople are taking calls every 30 seconds it seems. The phone rings off the hook. Some of the people I saw today were stylists — probably Hollywood or theatrical stylists — and they take up a boatload of time asking questions and looking at products. While the salespeople wait on these folks, your time waiting seems like forever.

I will also say the salespeople are not the most animated folks I’ve seen either. After looking at all of those people in the store, listening to that phone ring more times than I could stand, and listening to question after question being asked for those being waited on, I will venture to say these folks are about dead by noon. If you walk in after noon you might just find yourself talking to the walking dead.  I don’t know, maybe today was an extremely busy day.

My friend warned I should print the items I wished to purchase and take it with me. She said many items on their website are hard to find once you enter the store and she was right. I saw no combs, none of the products I wanted to purchase were within eye shot and I did not see wig caps or other accessories. The only wig cap I did see was being purchased by a woman and apparently, it is a popular item for chemo patients. I was told the wig cap, Comfy Fit, dissipates body heat, prevents wig discomfort, reduces skin shear and prevents pressure sores. It is a cute little cap with a thick gel-filled headband. Again, the cap was in a customer’s hands, I did not see it on display in the store.

Since I did as I was told, I approached the counter, spoke to the gentleman — I think he was the Sergio I’ve heard so much about — presented my pre-printed list of items and he went about the store looking for the items, first in front and then he went to the back to retrieve whatever he couldn’t find in front. Very friendly guy but I could tell he was pretty tired or hot, there was no air conditioning in there.

I heard the one gentleman tell a customer about stylists on the premises. Didn’t see any of them but there are what looked like private rooms in the back with blow dryers that, I guess, could be used for styling wigs for customers. After reviewing their website I know they provide this service but I can’t tell you how one gets from point A to point B. I’m assuming you can purchase the wig and make an appointment for styling or vice versa. Styling, if you don’t know, is having a wig cut and styled for your head.

I also saw a little sign posted for custom ventilation which means they will customize a wig for you. The sign actually said you must make payment first prior to having the service done. I’m guessing there is a place in the back for client fittings because I saw no place up front for such a thing.

My girlfriend tells me the procedure entails having a mold made of your head. Once that’s done a cap is made to fit the mold and you go through another fitting to check the mold. Ventilation is when the hair is weaved into the cap, one strand at a time. A custom wig will cost you a pretty penny. I’ve seen some of my friends custom wigs and though they’re beautiful, they’re very expensive and she flies to another state to have them made which adds to the price.

So, bottom line, if you want to purchase a wig from Wilshire Wigs, buy online. I had to go in today because I wanted to read the bottles, hold them in my hand and make sure the products were something I could use. From now on I will purchase the products online. It’s easier, everything ships within two days and it’s the best way to go. Many of the women I saw today are online shoppers who were there to see what’s hot, what’s not and to check out the clearance section.

Wishire Wigs
http://www.wilshirewigs.com/
Address:
5241 Craner Avenue
North Hollywood, CA 91601
View directions.

Phone:
800-927-0874 (Toll Free)
818-761-9447 Phone
818-761-9779 Fax

Hours:
Mon-Fri: 9:00-5:30 PST
Sat: 9:00-4:00 PST

Beverly Johnson Lace Front Wig: Aurora

OMG, can I just say I’ve been having a good time experimenting with all sorts of things? Really, can I? Well let me tell you 50 is the new 40, at least that’s what I’m feeling. Thanks to a few older wise ones, friends of mine, I’m learning a lot about hair, nails, makeup, etc.

Ready For Basting

Thanks to a friend of mine who has been through chemo for breast cancer, I learned it was not just hot outside, it’s hot inside too and I mean inside of me. I’ve been going through some serious hot flashes and stupid me, I had no idea. I thought I was done with the hot flashes a few years ago when I first started with oral Cytoxan. I was warned the drug would take me through menopause and it did. Again, stupid me, I truly believed the menopausal hell was over after my first round of Cytoxan.  Not!  The hot flashes ceased then but they’re back.

Well now, it ain’t necessarily so. Since beginning this new treatment with IV Cytoxan the hot flashes have returned with a vengeance and I have budgeted for continuous A/C, I have no choice. Of course my friend thought me funny because again, stupid me, I thought it was the temperature outside. She told me “no honey, it’s the temperature inside.” So, it’s the chemo doing this to me huh? Good Lord! That little bit of information has helped me rethink my wardrobe. Instead of dressing for what I think is cool at the time only to find myself 15 minutes later burning up, I now dress light and I carry a sweater or jacket for those times when I feel cold. You know how it goes, put the sweater on, take the sweater off, rinse and repeat.

Knowing that yes, it’s hot outside it’s not why I feel ready for basting. I’m actually having symptoms of menopause, again.

Oh My Nails

The nails are driving me crazy. At first I was going to just let them go and not worry about them but — and this is most unfortunate — the dark nails have created quite a stir. Apparently, dark nails are common in African American women going through chemo. Since I am expressive with my hands, people often miss the point because they’re stuck looking at my nails. This means I will have to start polishing my nails again.

The big problem with me and nail polish is I’m too active. Within days of applying nail polish I will notice cracking or wearing of the polish. By week’s end, I have to redo my nails. According to my friend who also went through Chemo, she removed her acrylic nails and self applied plastic nails. She recommended a brand which I will not name here but, for her, this worked. She did not experience losing a single nail and she did not encounter any problems with her nails.

Now, why did I mention plastic nails. When on Chemo it is advised you should not wear any sort of nail covering because of the dangers of infection or fungus developing between the fake nail and your nail. I am aware of this and that’s why I’m looking at temporary solutions. I did not want to visit a nail salon because I don’t want to take the chance of making a bad situation worse with utensils that may or may not be sterilized. I need to do my own nails or carry my utensils to the nail salon. My friend also informed me to always wear gloves when washing dishes. I half do this now but from here on out, I will wear gloves.

Now these plastic nails will not give me months of long wear. Actually, they’re supposedly only good for up to two weeks and will have to be removed. I’m going for about a week to see if I can stand it and my friend recommended a non-acetone remover, which I purchased. If it works, I will switch between polish and plastic nails. If it doesn’t work — why I’m not naming the product — then I will go to Plan B which is using a lot of gunk on my nails — polish and other stuff — to keep the nails polished for a longer haul. I’m not fond of Plan B because it makes my nails feel heavier and I don’t like that heavy feeling but, if it works, so be it.

Michael Jackson and Dark Nails

A friend of mine brought this to my attention. Apparently, she googled dark nails and Cytoxan and came across images of Michael Jackson with dark nails. She came across a photo of MJ with dark nails “like yours” she said and wondered if MJ had been on chemo too. I personally have not heard anything like this though it was rumored he was being treated for skin cancer. Maybe, maybe not.

Since MJ was supposedly diagnosed with Discoid Lupus by his dermatologist and if he was, in fact, diagnosed with Systemic Lupus, it’s quite possible he may have taken Cytoxan, either orally or IV, for his condition. There are other drugs out there as well that will cause the nails to change in color. I know I saw an photograph of MJ’s hands at the O2 announcement and thought “geez, his hands look as bad as mine.”

You can receive chemotherapy for all sorts of things, cancer is not the only condition. If MJ had lupus nephritis and was placed on chemo — no one will ever know really — then the discoloration of his nails is due to the chemo and if he was on chemo, for any reason, it could have affected his heart as well.

Again, I don’t know and all I’m doing right now is writing a Hollyweird script, call it pure speculation. I don’t know. Since I could not find the photo my friend saw showing MJ with dark or black nails, I can only speculate. What I did find were photos of MJ with dark brown nails and this could be due in large part to lighting or how the photo was processed. His nails — as seen in the accompanying photo — does not look like my nails. His are dark brown and again, I don’t know why.

Playing With Wigs

When you’re hot, you’re hot and wig caps ain’t nice when you’re hot. At the urging of another friend who swears by these things, I purchased my first lace front wig. I picked it up Thursday after my friend had it thinned out a bit. I was not born with a thick head of hair and that’s why I had it thinned, I wanted it to look more like my natural hair.

To be honest, I like it but I’m too darn conservative. I’ve never worn my hair this long (see photo above) since, as they say, skippy was a pup. When I was about 22 or 23, I kept my hair at shoulder length because I just can’t stand a lot of hair flying around my face. Again, my friends think me too funny because I’m so conservative. I don’t like a lot of hair, don’t like a lot of flying hair, wanted to have grey hair mixed in with my wig because — as I often say — I’m OLD, and I don’t like anything but straight blacks or browns. Well, wasn’t I surprised. Girlfriend colored my hair. Did I ask for that? NO!!! Did I get that? Yes!!!

Girlfriend told me I needed to relax which is something I’m not very good at. She said I acted “too old” and needed to “flip the script.” Well, I actually like the hair and the color but it will take me a while to adjust. She wanted me to keep it long and I decided to meet her half way on that one. I trimmed the hair shorter in the front and sides and tapered it (layering the hair) toward the back. I really like it now, she doesn’t but I do.

I have not affixed it to my head yet but I will. I wore it Thursday with a headband just to live with it a while and see if I could stand wearing it long. I could not, thus the haircut. I will admit the color, the length and the lightness of the wig did give me a spring in my step. I felt like my old self again and that was a good thing.

Later, I did cut it back a bit and it started talking, big time. A big thanks to Jerome who taught me years ago how to trim and layer hair. Oh what a wonderful lesson that was.

Shaving My Head

Oh yes, I had to. It was getting too hot for me and those wig caps. OMG!!! Since my hair is coming out anyway, what’s the point of having a head full of sparse hair? I now understand why guys shave their heads. Not only is it easier to manage, it’s so cool.

Instead of wearing the wigs with heavy or thick caps, I am now only wearing those wigs with light, airy caps. I just can’t take those heavy or thick caps while the temps are near 100. Ain’t gonna happen. Can’t do it.

If for some reason I find I cannot do the wigs I will rock the Jean Pace look. For those who don’t know or are unfamiliar with Jean Pace, she is the wife of the late Oscar Brown, Jr. Ms. Pace began losing her hair when she was 4-years old and has worn wigs most of her life. There are times when she does come out — looking regal as ever — showing off her bald head. Because she has such beautiful features (high cheek bones) the bald head is simply stunning. My head ain’t quite so stunning, it fact it’s a little lumpy but I’ll manage if need be.

Living Well While On Chemo

I will note something I’ve found a little disappointing, there is very little out there on how women, particularly African American women, can feel beautiful while on chemo. Admittedly, my grey was premature and my hair has turned white primarily because of the medications I’m taking. Sure, I’m not that old and my mother told me she dyed her hair until she hit her mid-50s. But, I still find it a bit disconcerting that an older woman cannot readily find wigs with 5%, 10% or even 50% grey without spending loads of money for them.

I even considered doing a quick weave using 10% grey hair but for 10″ of hair I would have paid a load of money when there were kits available for substantially less. Unfortunately, those kits are 1, 1B, 3, 4 — all dark colors which are not flattering for older women. Jet Black will make you look really old.

Many of us earned those grey hairs and we’re pretty darn proud of them and we want to keep them, chemo or not. I’ve been through a lot to get to this age and gosh darn it, I wanna be my age. I’m not trying to be young, don’t want to be young again, and I’m not running from my age. I’m over 50 and I want to look like I’m over 50.

Second, I wish more information was provided to those of us going through or about to go through chemo. I had to do Internet searches and consult with friends who have gone through chemo to find out the dos and don’ts. I learned about ginger years ago when my friend was going through chemo and it has worked for me now though I will admit I’ve had no real problems with nausea.

Bottom line, I’m finding it is not only important to eat well when dealing with autoimmune diseases such as Lupus or cancer. It is equally important to feel well both mentally and physically. Just wearing the new wig the other day, particularly after cutting it, put a pep in my step. I felt good. Working on the nails also made me feel good. Finally, I found when I changed the way I looked — accepting this is what I have to do in order to feel good about what I’m going through — I feel good and as a result, my style of clothing has also changed.

If you are a woman going through chemo and you’re on a fixed income or low income, Pantene has a program called Beautiful Lengths. Through this program, women are encouraged to donate hair that is given freely to women going through chemotherapy. The wigs are donated to the American Cancer Society’s (ACS) wig bank. The ACS also has some pretty nice, affordable wigs for sale in their TLC store. A word to the wise though, if you go with one of the wigs offered there, go with a Monofilament Wig if you can. These are lightweight, airy, and allow for parting. At the prices they’re offering on their site, these offer the best bang for the buck.

And that’s it for me today. I’m going to try to get to Wilshire Wigs to be insulted and abused — at least that’s what I’ve heard about the staff there, I’ll let you know when I get back.

Lace Front Wig Demo

Mine looks similar to this one. This wig is actually from the Janet Collection, not Beverly Johnson