Elizabeth June Photo by Dale Fox

My new favorite website is More.com because it addresses subjects/issues relating to women 40+. Love it and glad to see it. There are so many sites geared toward young folks I find myself passing, passing, passing and sometimes, passing out. They just don’t relate to me.

Then there are the sites that are for everything woman and again, they are mostly everything young women and I cannot relate. There is nothing about me wishing to be young again. My brain may want to write the check but my body cannot cash it.

So, I’ve forgotten about those other youthful sites and have moved on to sites more to my liking, geared more toward living in the moment, 50+, and loving it, which brings me to the article written by a 41-year-old woman who tells the tale of living with gray hair since she was 14-years-old and how a casual stranger made her travel the road of hair schizophrenia.

The article, From 14 to 41: Okay to be Gray is short but to the point. There are others referenced under the aforementioned article as well but this one, written by an African-American woman, is more to the point for me. We have a tendency to do anything but gray, as in blonde — Oh Lord! — but never gray.

Opinions, like bumholes, everyone has one and it is not uncommon to hear someone tell you what you should do and why you shouldn’t do something else like, for instance, be yourself. The other day, not feeling the wig, I chose to go out visiting without the mop. One friend looked long and hard at me and asked, finally, “where’s the wig?” I told her I didn’t feel it today and, after much thought, decided to ditch it and instead wear long earrings and makeup only. Again, after long contemplation, she stated “aren’t you afraid people will stare?” “Oh Lord help us” I said and “so what if they do?” As it turned out, no one stared — that I could see or cared to see — and as a matter of fact, I was complimented. One woman actually said she wished she could wear her hair as short as mine but she did not feel quite so daring. Tis a shame we allow others to so strongly control our lives.

Back to the article, Elizabeth June (pictured above) talks about her first experience when someone with an opinion approached her about her gray hair. She says: “One day while shopping for some groceries for my mom, a lady stares at me for a moment then walks up to me and says ‘You’re too young to have a gray hair-why don’t you dye it!’” From there she became a “dyeing, lying, wigging, weaving maniac.”

Loved the article and love the site. You can read the rest of the article on More.com here.

Foxy Silver Collection -- Goldie

On the very day I received my first Foxy Silver grey wig, I also received some bad news. It seems the last chemo treatment I received, which caused me so much grief — so much so I still do not feel quite myself — may have also traumatized my kidneys. My most recent lab work shows my kids are not happy with me and now my doctor and I will be seeing each other more often. Pooh. Grey wig, gray day and now I’m taking it easy.

Though the news was devastating and I will admit feeling overwhelmed and slightly depressed when I left my doctor’s office, I still feel a glimmer of hope. I will also add my grey wig (shown above) helped me feel better because I felt more at home with it than I’ve felt with any of the other wigs I have.

Now, allow me to explain this one. You see, I was raised by a phenomenal woman who is self-made, self sufficient, and she raised me to believe we as women are beautiful at any age. My mother dyed her hair for a period of time before finally deciding grey is beautiful. I love her beautiful head of grey hair. She and I both went grey early, she in her late 20s and I in my early 30s. Well, let’s say I noticed my first grey hair at 29 and I pulled it.

Over the years, I have noticed many of my older friends would much prefer dying their hair than allow a grey hair to raise an unruly strand anywhere atop their head. Personally, I am of the belief a woman should just go with it because some of the age discrimination out here today comes as a result of our trying to run away from our age or aging. It’s a fact of life, deal with it and be done with it I say.

The worse I have seen — in my humble opinion — is an older sister rocking jet black or blue black hair on a Sunday morning with thick pancake makeup, making her look more ready for a coffin than walking the street on her way to church. From the back she looks great with all of that thin hair flying in the wind but, don’t let her turn around. Oh my God, every wrinkle comes into view as she smiles and that black, black hair just doesn’t do it.

With that, I ain’t no spring chicken and I don’t pretend to be one. I’m not trying to be young, youthful, young at heart, young acting, or anything with youth or young in it. I am a middle-aged woman and darn proud of it. I have earned every grey hair on my near bald head. When my hair begins growing again on this near bald head, you can bet your last bottom dollar I will have some highlighting shampoo for grey hair because I will rock these silver, grey and white strands. Oh yes I will, yes I can and thank you very much.

Foxy Silver Collection -- Jamie

During these six months of chemotherapy, I have looked high and low for grey wigs. Everything, it seems, is geared toward younger women. The wigs for older women are dumpy and look like they were thrown together with the manufacturer saying something on the order of “oh well, here, take this.” No thank you. I have purchased conventional wigs and front laced wigs and unfortunately, trying to find a 34 (a mix of off black with grey) is like pulling hen’s teeth. You can find any color in the world — some of them ab-so-lute-ly strange — but grey is off the table.

Thank God for the Foxy Silver Collection. One day I was so fed up with all of the weird colors I did a Google search for grey wigs and up popped Foxy Silver. There are many online stores that carry these wigs but few have the full collection. Apparently, these shop owners believe older women with grey hair should also have short hair. No shoulder length or full head wigs. No, no, apparently we’re too old for that. No, apparently the belief is we should have short, close cropped grey hair.

Thankfully, after finding Alicia International — the ones responsible for the Foxy Silver Collection — I could see they did not believe what many of their sellers believe. The lengths go from very short to long. Thank you.

I have had friends tell me “oh girl, you’re not that old. Don’t get a grey wig” but I wanted one because I am “that old” — whatever that means. My hair is actually grey. It would not have gone grey if I were not “that old.” Since I am into accepting me in whatever flavor I come — cross your eyes behind that one — I want to be me, not someone else and that is why I love my Foxy Silver grey wig.

About the Collection:

Grey never looked so good™. You know it, and we’ll help you show off that gorgeous grey. An incredible selection of grey wigs, half wigs, and hair pieces in both human hair and synthetic wigs, half wigs and hair pieces for mature women of color. Search no longer, Foxy Silver® is your only source for salt n’ pepper wigs.

The Foxy Silver® Collection includes monofilament wigs, hand stitched wigs, human hair wigs, and synthetic wigs. Available in our unique three-tone grey colors and with over 50 styles, we have your perfect style.

I purchased “Goldie” (shown above). It is made with premium synthetic hair, it is lightweight with a machine-stitched cap. It looks natural, feels secure, and thank God it is light and airy. It has a layered cut that can be styled many ways. Actually, I do not wear it the way it is styled in the above photo.

I have ordered two more, “Barbara”, a medium length wig and “Jamie,” a shoulder length wig. I may order more but for now, that’s it.

If you’re on my side of town, Pasadena Beauty Supply carries a full selection of wigs and they have a whole shelf or aisle of grey wigs. They also carry the Foxy Silver Collection.  Maybe later I’ll swing by and take some photos for you to see what they have.  Though small, it’s a great place and it’s full-o-stuff.

The parking lot is pretty small but I found a park. The building itself is a nice sized building but the display room for wigs is to the left as you enter the front door. The wig show room was not as big as I expected but my goodness, did they have wall-to-wall wigs. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that many wigs in one place.

Online you will find a number of African-American wigs. In the store, that’s another thing. There were big displays for Revlon, Noriko and others but MotownTress and Beverly Johnson were hit and miss. You really had to look around and find them mixed in with other manufacturers. There were very few lace fronts wigs too, very few, in fact I think I saw two.

Having said all of that, the store if filled with all sorts of wigs in varying styles. If you’re interested in finding something for Halloween, this is the place to go for some very creative, outlandish, interesting and frightening wigs. I saw one that would put Frankenstein’s wife to shame and it came complete with a weird high collar.

If you wish to try a wig on to see how it fits, they have private fitting rooms. I thought that was nice because those going through chemo who have little hair atop their heads can try one on privately without being stared at. One woman who obviously had alopecia did take her wig off at one point to try on another and did she ever get stares. Why? Heck if I know. I don’t know if she noticed this or not but I did see her snatch away into one of the fitting rooms and her husband began bringing her wigs.

The place was pretty crowded as they were doing a good amount of business. Women were in there buying lots-o-lots-o-wigs. There is a clearance section in the back — didn’t see any prices on any of the wigs — and those were going like hot cakes. Don’t you just love clearance racks? I do but I wasn’t there to purchase a wig. Tempted? Yes, but I was trying to stay focused on what I came to purchase. Maybe later.

The Showroom: View from the entrance

I was thrilled to see wigs for children and men. They also have hairpieces for men as well as partials and they sell everything needed to affix them to your head. They have every kind of adhesive, adhesive removers, shampoos and conditioners for wigs — what I came for — name it, they have it but again, it’s not within eye view. You will have to ask one of the three employees there for assistance.

I have read this on the interwebs and many of my friends have told me the same, getting help is difficult at best and you may have to wait longer than what you might expect to get said help. The three salespeople are taking calls every 30 seconds it seems. The phone rings off the hook. Some of the people I saw today were stylists — probably Hollywood or theatrical stylists — and they take up a boatload of time asking questions and looking at products. While the salespeople wait on these folks, your time waiting seems like forever.

I will also say the salespeople are not the most animated folks I’ve seen either. After looking at all of those people in the store, listening to that phone ring more times than I could stand, and listening to question after question being asked for those being waited on, I will venture to say these folks are about dead by noon. If you walk in after noon you might just find yourself talking to the walking dead.  I don’t know, maybe today was an extremely busy day.

My friend warned I should print the items I wished to purchase and take it with me. She said many items on their website are hard to find once you enter the store and she was right. I saw no combs, none of the products I wanted to purchase were within eye shot and I did not see wig caps or other accessories. The only wig cap I did see was being purchased by a woman and apparently, it is a popular item for chemo patients. I was told the wig cap, Comfy Fit, dissipates body heat, prevents wig discomfort, reduces skin shear and prevents pressure sores. It is a cute little cap with a thick gel-filled headband. Again, the cap was in a customer’s hands, I did not see it on display in the store.

Since I did as I was told, I approached the counter, spoke to the gentleman — I think he was the Sergio I’ve heard so much about — presented my pre-printed list of items and he went about the store looking for the items, first in front and then he went to the back to retrieve whatever he couldn’t find in front. Very friendly guy but I could tell he was pretty tired or hot, there was no air conditioning in there.

I heard the one gentleman tell a customer about stylists on the premises. Didn’t see any of them but there are what looked like private rooms in the back with blow dryers that, I guess, could be used for styling wigs for customers. After reviewing their website I know they provide this service but I can’t tell you how one gets from point A to point B. I’m assuming you can purchase the wig and make an appointment for styling or vice versa. Styling, if you don’t know, is having a wig cut and styled for your head.

I also saw a little sign posted for custom ventilation which means they will customize a wig for you. The sign actually said you must make payment first prior to having the service done. I’m guessing there is a place in the back for client fittings because I saw no place up front for such a thing.

My girlfriend tells me the procedure entails having a mold made of your head. Once that’s done a cap is made to fit the mold and you go through another fitting to check the mold. Ventilation is when the hair is weaved into the cap, one strand at a time. A custom wig will cost you a pretty penny. I’ve seen some of my friends custom wigs and though they’re beautiful, they’re very expensive and she flies to another state to have them made which adds to the price.

So, bottom line, if you want to purchase a wig from Wilshire Wigs, buy online. I had to go in today because I wanted to read the bottles, hold them in my hand and make sure the products were something I could use. From now on I will purchase the products online. It’s easier, everything ships within two days and it’s the best way to go. Many of the women I saw today are online shoppers who were there to see what’s hot, what’s not and to check out the clearance section.

Wishire Wigs
http://www.wilshirewigs.com/
Address:
5241 Craner Avenue
North Hollywood, CA 91601
View directions.

Phone:
800-927-0874 (Toll Free)
818-761-9447 Phone
818-761-9779 Fax

Hours:
Mon-Fri: 9:00-5:30 PST
Sat: 9:00-4:00 PST

I cannot tell you about what designer I saw, what makeup was used, nothing about the clothing because I’m often too distraught to notice. How could she kill herself like that? Will she live long enough to reach retirement? I finally end vowing to never purchase the magazine again seeing it as a contributor to the destruction of women.

Well, thank God for Glamour Magazine. Their article What Everyone But You Sees About Your Body was an eye-opener and it is so true, we as women tend to be hard on our bodies. But wait, there was something else. Who is the woman in the photo, glowing, smiling confidently with a little bit of belly fully exposed? How wonderful to see a woman confident about her body and she is not among the emaciated model types near death, how wonderful that is.

Apparently, I was not the only one who noticed the attractive and very healthy looking model.  Other women saw her and spoke out joyously.  One commenter said:

I thank you so much for this article, I’m 29 years old and always have had this pooch around my belly, even as a size 6, and every single woman in my family does, but it’s so frustrating when you hear that you should lose weight from people who are supposed to support you. My Bf of one year, has got to the point of telling me that my imperfect body makes me so undesirable, I started dieting and excersicing like crazy, but still the pooch was there and he kept telling me “if you lose more weight I’ll like you more”. I finally stoped. I had lost about 22 pounds since we started dating and my skin, hair and general looks was not good. I looked way too thin and sick. I finally got in terms with my body: this is me, this is how I am, and I deserve to be loved. Sometimes we need courage to get away from those who’s sick expectations menace to sick us and make us feel uncomfortable as well.

Oh how well do I know.  Yes, there are some sickos out there who believe all women should come in a size 1 to 3 but certainly not 12 to 14.  I can tell you I was overjoyed to see a model confident in her appearance without feeling the need to uncomfortably suck it in.

But wait, there’s more.  Apparently women flooded the gates at Glamour to tell of their overwhelming approval.  In a blog post on Glamour entitled “On the C.L.: The Picture You Can’t Stop Talking About: Meet ‘the Woman on p. 194′”, the Editor, Cindi Leive, states:

It’s a photo that measures all of three by three inches in our September issue, but the letters about it started to flood my inbox literally the day Glamour hit newsstands. (As editor-in-chief, I pay attention to this stuff!) “I am gasping with delight…I love the woman on p 194!” said one…then another, and another, and another and another and another. So…who is she? And what on earth is so special about her?

Here’s the deal: The picture wasn’t of a celebrity. It wasn’t of a supermodel. It was of a woman sitting in her underwear with a smile on her face and a belly that looks…wait for it…normal.

Yes, the belly is normal and that is what made the photograph so wonderful.  How many of us have bellies like that?  I would dare say the majority of us.  Yes, 20-year old model Lizzi Miller is just like many of us, we have a little belly fat and so what.  In the article, Lizzi addresses her own experiences growing up and dealing with size and trying to measure up to others:

“When I was young I really struggled with my body and how it looked because I didn’t understand why my friends were so effortlessly skinny,” Lizzi told me. “As I got older I realized that everyone’s body is different and not everyone is skinny naturally–me included! I learned to love my body for how it is, every curve of it. I used to be so self-conscious in a bikini because my stomach wasn’t perfectly defined. But everyone has different body shapes! And it’s not all about the physical! If you walk on the beach in your bikini with confidence and you feel sexy, people will see you that way too.”

As for the letters, Lizzi’s loving them. “When I read them I got teary-eyed!” she says. “I’ve been that girl, flipping through magazines trying to find just one person who looked a little bit like me. And when I didn’t find it I would start to think there’s something wrong with the way that I looked. When J. Lo and Beyoncé came out and were making curves sexy, I started to accept myself more. It’s funny, but just seeing them look and feel sexy enabled me to do the same.” Lizzi, now you’re doing the same for all of us–massive congrats on that.

I love it.  Today on The Today Show, Both Lizzi and Glamour’s Editor Cindi Leive talked about the now infamous photo and how fashion is a “very thin industry.”  I hope the tides are changing in fashion because I am sick of seeing airbrushed and photoshopped images of women.  Thank you Glamour for making me smile — okay, well perhaps I was doing a big ‘ol dance with thumbs up.  Hopefully Glamour and other magazines will note the response and make a change.  All women should be represented and I’d like to see more women like me represented.

The Today Show