FemmeNoir
A Web Portal For Lesbians Of Color

Renair Amin

Renair Amin was born September 13 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her hobbies include reading and writing. As a writer, her inspirations are E. Lynn Harris, Stephen King, John Grisham and Patricia Cornwell. She currently resides in Brooklyn, NY.

"As far back as I can remember, I have been picking up a pen to express myself. Over the many stones and broken down roads I have traveled, I have been led to the place where I am today. Although it has taken a long time for me to bring my work to the world, I am here and ready to go. Someone asked me why do I write. My response? I found that I can connect to others with my words. My stories are not just my stories...they are the stories of my friends, family and people I have yet to meet. I've found that many of my readers were surprised at how much they could relate to my work. I am just thankful that I have been given the gift of writing and grateful that I have the opportunity to share it."
 

You can contact Renair at:  renair@renairamin.com  or visit her website at http://www.renairamin.com.

Sands of an Hourglass

Last night I watched my hourglass
Filling itself grain after grain
Overwhelming me as I watch
These grains are not elements of time
They are elements of me
Where I have come
From where I used to be
Around me dusk appears
As reflections of time
Flash like a movie screen
Here I stand
My heart in my hand
Beating and Bleeding
I am void of life
All of my daily involuntary functions
Are now voluntary
In order to avoid the apparent
I know love
Love has sat down with me
I tried to deny it
For obvious reasons
But now I climb to highest peak
On the highest mountain
Cry out into the universe
Love is not a stranger to me
The deepness of the emotion
Had vacationed from me
Four years in counting
My heart has never penetrated
That day when I was left
Cold and lonely
I vowed never to open again
Seats would be available
But the front row was reserved
For no one
But here I stand on the stage
Looking at an occupied front row
Did not see them come in
Or hear them sit down
I am sick enough to vomit
Dizzy with the emotion
Acknowledging a part of me
Which I thought was dead
I know love
Such a sick and beautiful thing
Such a oxymoron
Is it possible
Listen to the sound
Of the Sand as it stops falling
My hourglass is full
I push it to the floor
And watch the wind
Blow Away the sand


The Program

At the days in which I have grown
I smile
The rainbow in the sky
Has a pot of gold for me
So desperately I run
To collect my winnings
I must turn my eyes upward
From whence I came
Re-discover my faith
And my prayers shall guide me
In my time of trouble
I have been hidden safe away
But I must emerge a woman
And take account
My responsibilities
Belong to me alone
I dare not ask forgiveness
Until I stand in my own judgement
I am not blind to my steps
But oblivious to where I must go
I smile
At my revelations
These were brought to me
As I stood before my Power
Place upon me was a reading
A term "prophetess"
Was called upon me
With that I realized
That I am too analytical
I am missing my blessing
By searching for a reason
Therefore I must allow my third eye
To be my spiritual guide
I have cleared my conscious
Stopped looking to my fate
Let my Power advise me
Instead of moving myself
I am now in a program
To which I must be honest
Open to recieve
And reluctant to decieve
No more hidden emotions
Just apparent feelings
Guided by my tongue
With this declaration
I call out to those
Those I have offended
Misguided
Hurt
Chatised
Removed
and Dismissed
I therefore express
My apologies
and condolences
As I move into a new light
A new place
I waive myself
To be what it is that
I need to be
Which is
Free
Clear
and Renewed
Pray for my soul
As it faces its truth
Pray for my Truth
As it looks into my soul
Many steps I will take
As I go through this process
My only support is my Power
And the only person I need to save
Is...
Myself.